Fake Fendi

As a young black girl growing up in the 90s, I was heavily into the HBO series Sex and the City. Sex and the City was a show that I religiously watched and thoroughly enjoyed. However, surprisingly, amongst my peers, I never talked or shared my love for the show. This was something that I enjoyed in my spare time when I was home alone, which was pretty often, being that I started watching this show when I was in middle/high school. Now, do I personally believe a 12-14-year-old should be watching Sex and the City. Hell no, there are numerous things that I did as a pre-teen that I don’t think any child should be exposed to. But my mother was aware that I was watching the show. Show much so that she would begin to buy me the series on DVD for Christmas presents. Oh, to be young and naive. Anyway, that’s not the point of this post. I just wanted to provide context for where I’m taking you on the journey.

In this episode, the ladies follow the main character, Carrie Bradshaw, to LA so she can pitch her column to movie producers. The LA theme runs throughout two episodes, but the one I will reference in this post is episode 13. I initially thought it was named Fake Fendi; however, according to Google, the episode was actually named Sex in Another City. In this episode, while at lunch, Samantha (whom I now refer to as The G.O.A.T) shows off her new Fendi bag to her friends. Amazed at the fact that Samantha would spend roughly $3,000.00 on a bag, the ladies were in disbelief. That is, until Samantha tells them that she only spent $150 on the bag and that it was fake. The ladies pass the bag around in amazement and awe at how real the bag looks. Samantha then proceeds to tell them, “You’d never know it wasn’t real unless you looked inside at the lining”.

Now, personally, I was well aware of fake designer bags. Growing up in the 90s, listening to rap music. Specifically Lil Kim, Trina, and Foxy Brown, they tend to brag and talk about designer items such as Louis Vuitton, Fendi, Prada, etc. So I was no stranger to those luxury items, or that you can obtain them for a lower cost from a booster or an Asian seller. However, to the woman in the show, they were in disbelief that people sold knock-off luxury items.

Anyway, Samantha somehow convinces Carrie that they should go to the Valley and buy herself a bag. Carrie obliges, and the ladies head off to the Valley the next day. Once they are there, they meet a man who is selling the bags out of his trunk. While smoking her cigarette, Carrie contemplates whether she actually wants to go through with buying the bag. In the end, Carrie decides she can’t go through with it.

Which brings me to myself. Like I mentioned before, I was aware of luxury bags, and they were all the rage in the 90s. Most of the time, women from my area obtain the bag via their boyfriends, who were street pharmacists. Other times, on the East Coast, women would typically go to New York and buy the knock-off versions of luxury bags from vendors selling them. Because the bag was all the rage, I learned early on from my sister how to spot the difference between a real and a fake bag. My sister told me specifically how to tell if a Louie bag was fake because those were the most common bags we would see women wear. She said, “You can tell if a Louie bag is fake if the Logo is cut off near the stitching”.

That was the main way to easily spot a real bag versus a fake. I personally took the observation one step further and figured if a woman was not dressed to the 9s the bag was more than likely fake. But that’s just me. And this was the 90s/2000s, and those who get what I’m saying get it. Anyway, because of my knowledge, I was never interested in carrying a fake Louie bag because I figured if I can’t afford to have the real thing, then why bother. This was clearly a sentiment that only my family knew about because fast forward to my birthday circa 2003, 2004. My friend, who at the time had just come back from New York, gifted me a fake Louie bag. With what I’m sure was an odd look on my face. I accepted the gift, smiled, and thanked her for her kind gestures.

When I got home, I immediately showed my mother and damn near cried. My mother laughed at me as I dramatically fell out on the floor in disbelief that I would now have to wear this to school eventually. Because if not, my friend would know I hated the bag. I truly didn’t understand why she would buy me such a thing. But I also knew that she had no idea that I personally didn’t like fake luxury bags. Nor would I ever be caught wearing one because WHY???? So here I am, miss, I don’t like fake luxury bags with what a Fake Louie. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t give it back and tell my friend that I don’t like the bag because that would be mean. So what did I do instead? I eventually wore the bag to school, and I hated every minute of wearing that bag.

Fast forward a few years, and I find myself in a similar situation again. This time, I’m voluntarily out shopping with my then-boyfriend, his sister, and his mother at a flea market in Baltimore. Now, this market in particular was specifically a place where you could buy knock-off items. Again, I personally am not a fan of knock-off clothing because it was never a big deal in my High School. However, I am aware that named-brand clothing was a status symbol in some high schools, just not mine in Virginia.

I am then separated from my boyfriend and find myself with his mother and sister in a shop that sells fake luxury items. At this time, I don’t think I ever informed my boyfriend that I despise fake bags because, like in High School, the conversation never came up. So here I am again, surrounded by a bunch of fake bags that I have absolutely no interest in. As I’m walking through the store, I can feel that I’m being watched. I turn around and notice that my boyfriend’s mother and sister are looking to see if I found anything I like. Instead of imposing my beliefs on them, I make up an excuse and say I didn’t find anything I liked in the store, and we leave shortly after.

As a now 39-year-old woman who has been married and am currently in the process of getting a divorce, I find myself having an Ah moment about the correlation between Fake Luxury items, interpersonal relationships, and marriages. My conclusion is that a lot of people are carrying around Fake Fendi bags.

I now realize that there are people in this world who don’t mind being in toxic relationships and marriages if from the outside they look real. They will smile, have anniversary parties, and will argue anyone down (like Samantha did in episode 13) that what they have is real, when in reality it wasn’t. Which led me to be so perplexed as to why people thought I was “crazy” for leaving my marriage. But now I understand. Some people are completely fine living in illusions. I left my marriage because I soon realized my partner would rather live in dysfunction as long as from the outside everything appeared fine. And baby, that’s where he had me all the way Fucked Up. I don’t believe in faking anything. Not an orgasm, my feelings, happiness, and not my relationship. Hell, I’m a vegan, and I don’t even believe in eating fake meat.

I would much rather go without a luxury item, or in this case, a marriage/ relationship, if it means I have to fake it. This is also the reason why I never wore hair weaves or wigs. I found it to be so inauthentic and unrealistic that I didn’t feel comfortable wearing it. Now I wore a weave twice in my life, and both were for a school dance. Now, I must say, the pony I wore to my ROTC ball my ninth-grade year was sick, baby! I was giving Conny Spalding from Two Can Play That Game realness, you hear me. But that’s not the point; the point I’m making is I personally get the icks if I have to fake anything.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have always been aware of people being complacent at work. However, that was never my story. In my career, I never faked anything there either. Once I was no longer happy at a company or felt uncomfortable being there, I left. I do not stay anywhere I’m unhappy or not wanted. So why would anyone think I would do the same in my marriage? That’s where my Ah Moment started ringing. I’m realizing that I am one of the very few people who can buck against the system and stand in their truth. A lot of people stay in situations that no longer serve them out of fear, I guess. I don’t really know why they stay. I can only assume. All I know is I can’t and I won’t. I refused to wear a fake Louie bag then, and I refuse to be in a fake marriage now. Like Carrie stated in the episode, ” I should’ve liked them, but staring into that truck, they no longer looked like elegant Fendi bags. They just looked cheap. And even if everyone else thought they were real, I would always know that my bag came from a cardboard box in a truck deep in the valley”.