Sofia Speaks: The Complex Simplicity of Life

Introduction:
There are many basic freedoms that we owe to one another as humans, but today’s stroll is not about the types of freedom that can be given or taken by other people. Today’s stroll invites you to contemplate how self-reflection and the choices we make internally about taking in and responding to our world can set us free

Pause 1
Author Ralph Ellison wrote, When I discover who I am, I’ll be free. What have you learned about yourself during your stolls thus far? How might these insights help you live more freely?
(McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 96).

Journal Entry 1
During my strolls, I’ve learned that although I’ve become a pretty amazing person despite my upbringing and past, I still have been holding on to the trauma and learned behaviors that I witnessed growing up. By recognizing this, I am able ot chekc myslef when I’m doing things or acting in a way that is unbecoming. I’m able to take a pause and reflect as well as notice when and how something someone says or does bothers me and address things head-on.

Update to Journal Entry 1
Going back and re-reading my responses and adding my current thoughts have made realized how much I’ve grown since I started this walk in the Spring of 2024. The insights that I’ve discovered during my journey help me realize that my past and troubling situations do not define me. It’s what I do after chaos has presented itself to me that matters. I now have practices that I have incorporated into my daily life that help me to stay grounded and present. These practices have helped me to be free by having the understanding that any discomfort that I’m currently experiencing will soon pass.

Pause 2
Think about the connection between freedom and the other themes of these strolls, such as joy, gratitude, and forgiveness. How are they related? Think back in particular to a lesson from your sixth stroll: that while we cannot always set our own course for our life’s journey, we can choose to look for meaning and joy along the way. (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 96).

Journal Entry 2
Joy, gratitude, forgiveness, and freedom all have choice in common. You, as an individual, have to choose how you want to live your life. Which also means that the opposite of joy, gratitude, forgiveness, and freedom are also a choice. In my opinion, some people have not realized that they choose. You can choose to heal or not. You can choose to forgive or note. The choice has been and will always be yours.

Update to Journal Entry 2
Reflecting on this question, I now see a common thread in relation to joy, gratitude, and forgiveness. They all lead to freedom if you choose them.

Pause 3
We tend to consider our reactions to be automatic, like the way water ripples when a pebble hits the surface. But as Stephen Covey wrote in describing the philosophy of psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. What choices are open to you right now about how to respond to circumstances in your life? (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 97).

Journal Entry 3
The choice that I have when responding to circumstances in my life is to, instead of reacting out of emotion first, ask myself how I feel or how what happens makes me feel. Once I can determine my feelings, I can ask myself why I feel this way and how I am having such a strong initial reaction. Once I process my feelings, I can then respond in a less reactive way.

Update to Journal Entry 3
I’m still working on honoring the space between stimulus and response. I’ve gotten better at it, however, because I’ve changed my life in such a way that I no longer encounter chaos and confusion on a daily basis. It’s not something I can easily recognize. In some instances, I can flex my space muscle and really calmly talk through an issue. Other times when I am unregulated or in a space of being overstimulated myself, I get caught in the web of chaos. I need to really get a handle on being the thermostat and not the thermonitor. 

Pause 4
Visitors who prefer the most manicured parts of these gardens might consider the Aquatic Garden to be overgrown and unkempt, whereas others view it as lush and wildly beautiful, as it was intended to be. Whatever the landscape of our lives, we are free to choose the lenses through which we view it. Reflect on which areas of your life you could look at with a new lens to bring you greater joy. (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 97).

Journal Entry 4
No entry

Update to Journal Entry 4
I find that visitors viewing the Aquatic Garden as overgrown and unkempt as interesting because it was one of my top favorite and most intimate strolls to complete. 

It’s so interesting that this reflection is my current topic because it’s right on time with what I’m experiencing. There is currently an area of my life that I have been viewing with rose colored glasses. With my separation (and soon divorce) from my husband, I find myself still trying to keep parts of our family dynamic together. Such as having a family event that he and our son do together. Although I have great intentions on wanting this, I’m starting to realize that the joy of experience is constantly met with chaos and confusion. The part that gets me every time is that it doesn’t start out that way, but somewhere before or after an event, it appears because of who I am dealing with. I’m now at a point in my life where joy is the default, and anything that disrupts will not be tolerated. And it’s not that I can’t handle conflict; conflict is not the issue, the issue here is that I’m realizing that I’m dealing with someone who does not choose joy as their default. For instance, the Aquatic Garden to this person might be overgrown and unkempt, but to me, I see the miracle of life, growth, and nature at its finest. A place where all the elements coexist without any distribution. As places where lily pads and green moss sprout from anywhere. Where frogs croak, ducks sway, and the water ripples from the depths of the life beneath the surface. To me, a glass that’s only full to the halfway point is half full, not half empty. So, back to the question at hand, how in this area of my life can I look at it with a new lens to bring me greater joy? By dealing with reality instead of my desire for this situation.

Pause 5
The process of freeing ourselves from past hurts and sadness can seem daunting. Those emotions are heavy, and they may have become familiar or might represent something or someone important to us. But consider that letting go need not mean forgetting. Plants discard their leaves and petals, but after they fall to the ground, those remnants of past life become soil. Far from disappearing, they instead nourish new beginnings. (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 97).

Journal Entry 5
I now know the process of healing through pain. Before, in other circumstances, I would run away from conflict and ignore when I’m confronted with an issue in my personal life. Now I understand the importance of addressing an issue and not ignoring it.

Update to Journal Entry 5
Letting go need not mean forgetting. Plants discard their leaves and petals, but after they fall to the ground, those remnants of past life become soil. If that is not a word, I don’t know what is!!!!! Whatever does not kill you makes you stronger. If you allow the lesson to be learned, processed, and received. I transmute my pain into art, whether that’s spoken words or writing. I really enjoy the writing process, and I can’t wait to see what magic comes with me exploring this medium.

Pause 6
At any minute of our lives, we are free to tune into the present moment. Right now, let your thoughts drift away from you as you take in the expanses of water and greenery all around, look up at the wide openness of the sky, and feel the air on your skin. Remember that this state of existence is always available to you.

Journal Entry 6
No entry.

Update to Journal Entry 6
I have found so much respect, appreciation, and love for nature. I am grateful and blessed to have found a space that I can return to daily to connect with God. To be grounded and wrapped in the essence of nature. I’m thankful and so glad that I found my way to freedom.