Sofia Speaks

Stroll Four: Transition
In nature, every moment is new; the past is always swallowed and forgotten; the coming only is sacred. Nothing is secure but life, transition, and the energizing spirit.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson, philosopher

PAUSE 1
You may have embarked upon these strolls because you are experiencing a transition in your life, or perhaps out of a desire for one. Contemplate the changes that are happening for you, or the ones that you are seeking. (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 46).

Journal Entry 1
Self-reflection helps me process my thoughts and feelings versus just holding on to them. When I think and find time for peace, I’m able to ask myself questions to determine what I may need in the moment to make myself happy or feel joy.

Update to Pause 1
I’m definitely seeking new possibilities and opportunities in my life currently. I’m seeking to continue to improve and grow.

PAUSE 2
Whereas the flowers in the Perennial Garden bloom spring after spring, many of the annuals you see in the adjoining Yew Garden live for only one season. Gardeners return each year to plant new flowers where previous ones have withered. We cannot reverse the transitions in our lives, but we can choose how to respond. What if you choose to look for possibilities and ways to start afresh? (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 46).

Journal Entry 2
I’ve come to understand that regardless of other people’s actions, I get to determine my own peace, what that means to me, and what that looks like. What I’m willing to tolerate and when I feel like I’m ready to walk away without feeling regretful or remorseful or caring about what others may say because at the end of the day I choose me and peace.

Update to Pause 2
Looking back at this post and my journal entry, I can tell I was over it. I was unaware, but I was in the process of slowly shedding my marriage and relationship of 20 years. Betrayal occurred during my pregnancy, and instead of walking away. Which is what my intuition kept telling me to do. I decided to stay and try to work it out. Instead of confronting my situation and staying true to myself, I betrayed my soul. I went against what I knew was best for me. But it’s cool now. I self-reflected and am in a much better space because I finally chose to listen to myself and look for new possibilities, and I now have a fresh start on my new life, and I’m delighted. Just because I say yes today doesn’t mean that I can’t say no tomorrow.

Song Lyrics: Rose Royce – Love don’t live here anymore 1978

“You’ve abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just a vacancy
Love don’t live here anymore
When you lived inside of me
There was nothing I could conceive
That you wouldn’t do for me
Trouble seemed so far away
You changed that right away, baby
You’ve abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just a vacancy
Love don’t live here anymore
Love don’t live here anymore
Just emptiness and memories
Of what we had before
You went away
Found another place to stay
Another home
You’ve abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just a vacancy, babe
Love don’t live here anymore
No, no, no, no, no
Through the windows of my eyes
Everyone can see
The loneliness inside me
Why’d you have to go away?
Don’t you know I miss you so?
I need your love
You’ve abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just a vacancy
Love don’t live here anymore
You’ve abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just a vacancy, babe
Love don’t live here anymore”.

PAUSE 3
Japanese maple trees like those on Maple Terrace transform with each season, their purple-red springtime leaves deepening into burgundy in the summer, then flaming scarlet in the fall. Sometimes, when we see the colors of our lives beginning to change, we try desperately to avoid what is coming. Transition can be frightening. But what would it be like to gently let go and allow the leaves of our lives to change? (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 47).

Journal Entry 3
Letting go can be hard but also a power to allow better and bigger things to come into life. I don’t think letting go is the hardest part; I think knowing when to is difficult.

Update to Pause 3
In the space that I’ve grown into, I’ve come to understand that we are one with nature; change is inevitable. In my professional career, I’ve welcomed change and have never been tied to any circumstance that I’ve outgrown and been afraid to walk away from. I didn’t do that at all in my personal life. I’ve held onto toxic relationships, ideologies, titles, and a bunch of other pointless things that didn’t serve me anymore. I’ve learned and grown from that through therapy and learning more about myself.

PAUSE 4
Scholar Kakuzo Okakura’s words ring true for everything that grows, whether green or human: The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings. Return to the story you wrote earlier in this book and identify where in your life you have had to readjust. Some changes may have happened as naturally as the tide flowing in or out, and others may have made you feel like you were scrambling for shelter in a sudden downpour. Reflect on what you have learned from these transitions – whether gradual or abrupt, whether difficult, joyous, or both. (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 47).


Journal Entry 4
I have to readjust my relationship with myself and my marriage, and my role as a mother. Although I am all of these things, I am still an individual who deserves their time, peace and down fulfillmet. I’ve learned to speak up in moments of discomfort that I need time to recognize my true feelings. 

Update to Pause 4
Reflecting on my story at the beginning of my journal I realized the importance of reflecting on painful moments in my life and being honest with myself. For many years in my relationship I was unknowingly conditioned to quickly let go of any negative feelings I was experiencing because I shouldn’t hold on to anger. Although one should not hold on to anger acknowledging and processing your feelings is extremely important. Through this journey I’ve learned that it is vital for me to acknowledge what I’m feeling and then look for a solution to resolve the issue instead of ignoring it and the cycle repeating.

PAUSE 5
Under the arbor in the Rose Garden you will find a collection of commemorative bricks, each of which has been laid to mark a transition of some kind. There are many ways to honor the transitions in our lives. Sometimes they involve acknowledging the emotions we feel deep inside, with self-compassion and without judgment. Consider how you might honor the transitions taking place in your life, and whether doing so could help you come to peace with them. (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 47).

Journal Entry 5
I’m excited for the awakening and look forward to the new possibilities that await.

Update to Pause 5
I need to have more self-compassion for myself and the decisions that I made without judging myself. Honestly, this is an area that I still need to work on because, although I understand why my past self made the decisions that I did, I can really be a bit hard on myself for making those decisions. 

PAUSE 6
Reread Ralph Walph Emerson’s words at the top of 46 and ask yourself what sacred future awaits you. Think about how you might be awakened by or find energy and joy in the transitions of your life, even those transitions first seem frightening or upsetting. (McCaffrey, Ruth DNP, FAAN. “Strolls for Well-Being at Brookside Gardens.”, Brookside Gardens, 2006, p. 47).

Journal Entry 6
My hardest struggle with this transition in my life is letting of the pain and hurt that was caused and feeling comfortable knowing it’s safe to move forward, but also wanting to walk away but knowing walking away doesn’t just affect me, but my son as well and trying to figure out if its worth staying or leaving. I’m battling with that.

Update to Pause 6
I agree with the quote nothing in life is secure except transition and energizing spirit and I’ve learned to listen to my spirit and move as it tells me because I know that my inner self knows what’s best and I always win when I listen.